The ocean has really inspired me — it’s always moving and changing; going and flowing. I just think that’s so awesome. It’s always different than it was the day before. – Jaysea Devoe

Individually, we are one drop but together, we are an ocean…

Two years later, to the date, I sat down and recorded a second part to Jaysea’s story. A LOT changes, grows, and evolves for teenagers in a year or two and she is no exception. In the last 2 years Jaysea has pioneered extreme expeditions, been in two movies, has been seeking out and surrounding herself with strong females that she refers to as mentors and fearless females and, after being home schooled most of her life, decided to enroll herself in public school for her senior year to, in her words, “feel like a regular teenager”. She decided she wanted to discuss HER stories that only others and the media have presented so far. She has been through so much I just let her jump in and start talking and let her take whichever direction felt most important and natural to her. Jaysea enthusiastically dove into our conversation with extreme excitement and shared the very intimate and empowering details of her latest adventure and conquest. The path, these past 2 years, to this powerful place has not been an easy one and became partially dark at one point. Adventure and nature, the ocean in particular, are her power and healing sources. Listen carefully as she describes the empowering, stoke filled, challenging, spiritual and most recent circumnavigation expedition around Catalina Island. She and her 2 girl power friends successfully paddled 54 miles in 3 days around the perimeter of Catalina. This “vibe Tribe” of 3 women became the first women ever to circumvent the island, purely by paddle power, in 3 days. This story to me was so strong and profound, that when I listened back to it, I was moved to tears! I did not edit anything out because I thought ALL the words and feelings were pertinent. The parallels to navigating through life and use of coping tools and selfcare were the same but flipped into something positive and exciting. Listen carefully or re-listen over again! The innate importance of telling this story first was such a great demonstration of natural selfcare that I could even feel it at a visceral level. With this foundation of confidence, her bubbly excited tone came down to a more neutral one as she decided she wanted to share a very vulnerable story of being assaulted. It was Jaysea, with the blessing of her family, that decided that she wanted to tell this story to hopefully help others. Although every assault incident is unique, it is our hope that you hear something that you can relate to or use as a coping or healing tool. You are not alone! According to The National Center For Victims of Crime, one person is assaulted every 36.9 seconds and every 98 seconds another American is sexually assaulted and 55% of assaults are at or near the person’s home…these are ONLY reported cases. Jaysea stated she does not want this to define her and that she does not consider herself a victim now but a survivor and a warrior! Her recipe for healing has led her to some beautiful and powerful experiences. We hope you use the right recipe with your own ingredients.

This is teenage girl describing personal stories and it took courage. Grey Matters Now is in NO WAY a place for judging, blaming or shaming! This will always be a platform for safe sharing.

You will find resources for help at the end of these show notes or feel free to reach out to Grey Matters Now for more.

Back to the womb in the blue heart center of the earth…Photo by Fisher Devoe.

Collaging The Line

https://www.sanuk.com/collaging-the-line.html

Image and art by Susan Wickstrand and her 12 year old daughter Chloe Grace.

Susan : Jaysea Devoe is a “sprout”. Just like my favorite Thomas Cambell Movie- which actually got me interested in collaging women in the first place. We Shot Jaysea in front of her family’s home there- with hands on her hips- which was passed on to our 12 year old daughter, who then drew a halo of sorts around Jaysea’s hat and a water droplet, all in white. I collaged in the stem of a flower for each member of her amazing family: Rick, Julie, Ryder, Fisher, Jaysea, and their 2 dogs. Then I created collaged flowers for her, which represent Jaysea’s strength and amazing personality.

Book reference:
Swell : A Sailing Surfer’s Voyage of Awakening By Captain Liz Clark

Movie reference:
Fish 101 The Movie https://fish101restaurant.com/SeaVibes : http://www.seavibesyoga.com

If you or someone you know is the victim of assault, you are NOT alone and it is NOT your fault – find a professional that can help you process your trauma and help navigate your healing. Find your unconditional support system, person or community that will hold you up while you heal and strengthen.

Counseling resources:
https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

Talk Space now offering services to teens too:
https://www.talkspace.com/

Photo by Fisher Devoe: 1st fish ever speared – her own Dorado for dinner.

According to Psychology Today, the definition of mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you carefully observe your thoughts and feelings without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to your current experience, rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future. Although this is a simple definition, achieving this state is not always as easy.

Join me, Andy Laub, and Kenn Orphan MSW as we explore doorways, tools and journeys to mindfulness and learn how one’s mindfulness can reverberate and ripple into amazing manifestations.

Andy holds several tools and is actively involved in the education of mindfulness, getting there and being there. He also has damn interesting stories! I met Andy at Bishwa Seva Foundation’s Sound Meditation where he has been playing the Native American Flute and volunteering for five years. Andy has been involved in sound meditations for eight years, is a Certified Tea Master, Healing Touch Practitioner, and a mindfulness educator in A&D treatment centers. He is also a frequent speaker and educator for integrative medicine.

“This is where I am remembering to be. This is where I am me.” – Andy Laub

This organization and sound meditation is so near and dear to my heart: http://bishwaseva.org/

Drink Tea!   https://www.mindful.org/mindful-cup-tea/

“This is where I am remembering to be. This is where I am me.”

Grey Matters Now Episode 9 : Ingredients to fuel our wellness with Erica Fowler

Are we really what we eat? Does what we consume really have an impact on not only us but the planet and society? The answer is yes – what we consume becomes the ingredients that create overall and comprehensive wellness. This is one person’s story of self-discovery and a holistic health journey. Everyone has their unique path they are on but it may help to hear what is in someone else’s tool box.

“I am passionate about conscious living through simple practices that eliminate stress and help create a balanced lifestyle. I want you to find more energy, feel comfortable in your skin, and enjoy life!”

-Erica Fowler

Erica began a career in modeling while she was in college and she realized quickly how certain people treated their bodies to look a certain way. She enjoyed the experiences of runways in LA but also had other dreams to pursue. It was not until life threw her a few curve balls in her early twenties, that she re-aligned with what she wanted her life to be like. Family trauma, a loss of a friend, and life in general seemed to begin to overwhelm her, “It was almost like there was a battle for the first time between my positive, optimistic spirit and everything feeling overwhelming and not having energy.” The anxiety from it often left her nauseous and underweight, no matter what she was consuming. She soon realized how powerful the mind and body connection is. It was such a struggle to have the feeling of depression and anxiety but wanting to be so happy and healthy. Working two jobs and in college, she began to explore how good whole foods and other self-work were for her overall balance. They made such a difference in how she felt. It was something she was in control of and could continue to work on; it quickly became a way of life.

She spent the beginning of her professional career participating in a few technology startups. In the corporate world, not only was lunch catered, but donuts, soda, cake, chips, were all around. She found herself meal planning, bringing food that she knew made her mentally clear and full of energy, and encouraging others by talking about nutrition and holistic healing. She loves helping people and encouraging them through their journeys. She has been studying holistic health remedies, food, and wellness for over a decade. Recently she quit her corporate job to pursue her passion as a holistic health nutritionist and chef and is now concentrating full time on her Business Erica Jane Health. She is a wealth of information and she has quickly become a renowned leader in her field.

Erica Jane Health is a holistic wellness platform that provides services, such as: different types of health coaching, recipe development, meal prep tips, and much more.

http://www.ericajanehealth.com

If you or someone you know is suffering from a potential eating disorder a reputable national resource is NEDA Feeding Hope

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

Am I the only one, am I a bad parent, should I have seen this coming, who can I share this with, who can I talk to that won’t judge us, how do I handle this, where can we go for help…? These seem to be a common theme of questions parents ask when they discover their child is self-harming and or struggling with mental health issues.

Although every family, family dynamic, and mental health struggle is completely unique, it may help to listen to others that have or are going through similar issues and difficulties. It may help to know that this can happen to anyone and that you are not alone. It may also be beneficial to listen to the resources and coping strategies that worked and did not work for them and provide you with some hope. This is a complex issue and there is no quick fix. Hopefully you will hear something that resonates with you and that you and your family may be able to implement into your recipe for healing and balance through this journey. It really is all about finding the right balance for you, your child and your family.

This is just one families story from a mother’s perspective about how they navigated through the tough times. Join me, Tina Page LCSW, and one brave mom Jessica as we explore their family’s experience, coping mechanisms, and resources as they journey through Emma’s struggles.

Emma is now 22 and has since graduated from college. I caught up with her last week and we recorded her unique perspective and story. I had her listen to her mom’s episode and she really liked it and, in her words, expressed that her mom did a good job explaining her perspective. I have to admit – I had NO idea how this would pan out! I wanted her to listen to her mom’s episode because I would not release it unless she was comfortable with it. After listening, she was all in to tell her story from her point of view. She felt by telling her story she may help with the stigma and shame around mental health and give people a more holistic view of their journey and struggles. Stay tuned next week for Part 2 – Emma’s Story.

This is a VERY sensitive subject and it was very difficult to find a family willing to share their experience. I want this to always be a safe place to share and a platform for healing and fostering consciousness. This is NOT a forum for judgement, finger pointing or arm chair parenting. This is a platform for conversation, active listening and resources. Please feel free to contact us if you have questions, would like to share or need more resources.

We end the episode with the song Hey Big Sister from The Home Alone album. Hey Big Sister was written for Emma and Jessica before their second child was born by their dad and husband Will Kimbrough. Hey Big Sister was written, produced and performed by Will Kimbrough. He writes a lot about life, his family and the road. I think Will’s perspective is evident in his artistry. Will is a critically acclaimed singer song writer from Nashville Tennessee…you can check out some live performances and videos about his family https://www.willkimbrough.com/media to learn more about Will, tour dates or listen to more music visit https://www.willkimbrough.com

Mental Health Care Resources:

Talk Space https://www.talkspace.com/

NAMI – National Alliance On Mental Illness https://www.nami.org/

7 Cups https://www.7cups.com/

In the San Diego area up2SD http://up2sd.org/

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255

At Risk Youth – Who are they really?

William’s Story

Join me, David Magee, Michael Julian, and Katy Bray for an open and honest round table discussion connected in 3 parts of the country and a variety of perspectives. This topic about the dangers of substance abuse is SO big it was difficult for me personally to start facilitating the conversation. I awkwardly just looked up at this mountain and took the first shaky step and the rest of the conversation just flowed with these brave, candid and beautiful individuals. This episode is intended to brainstorm by sharing personal issues and stories. I want to be very clear; this is NOT a platform for blame, shame or finger pointing. This is intended to be a safe place to share openly in order to problem solve.

When I stumbled across a newspaper article spreading through my social media circles written by a fellow college classmate, it felt like a force had taken ahold of me and shook me to my core. I knew this force would not let me go until I contacted the author, David Magee, to ask if we could discuss his deeply personal story that was also so universal and so multi-faceted. It only took reading the first few lines of the article to make me feel like I could not breathe. His article was intended to warn university students of the dangers of binge and risky behavior and to let them know it does not have to be a right of passage when you enter college. He and his family made the brave decision to share their son’s story of an accidental fatal overdose in hopes it would resonate and help others. What he did with this story/article was bust down the door of shame and free everyone that was locked behind it to share their own stories and to discuss topics normally considered taboo or “dirty laundry”. Free people to breathe….I am not alone…free people to make their OWN decisions…free people of peer pressure….free students to care about and help their peers…free us all to dump all of our, now uncorded, shame, crap and dirty laundry out in the open. We are all now free to discuss and sort through all this old uncomfortable stuff together and finally use it to problem solve. Free to come together as a community to create some solutions to foster healing and brainstorm about prevention.

William Magee was a 2012 Ole Miss graduate who was in the Sally McDonnell Barksdale Honors College and the Croft Institute for International Studies. William was remembered by everyone as the young man with the beautiful smile; kind, sweet, and popular – he seemed to have it all. He lettered in track and was named to the SEC academic honor roll. The 400 hurdles are considered by many to be one of the most difficult in sports, and William had the courage to walk on and do it in the SEC. If only we could see the dangers and unpredictability of life’s hurdles. If only we could see the suffering hidden behind his beautiful smile, the social anxiety, general anxiety and low self-esteem.

William’s story is the same story as when we were at Ole Miss in the 80’s. It makes me wonder and almost have a survivor’s guilt – why am I still alive – how come I got to live…. ? This story is still, as if not more, relevant as it was when I was in school – I have to say though I was seriously shocked and saddened. I felt like this was something I HAD to explore because for some strange reason the universe let me live. Unfortunately, Williams story is sadly becoming a common story. Young men in particular still seem uncomfortable discussing anxiety, depression and dark feelings and the opioid crisis has become a full-blown epidemic. Last year 115 Americans died every day from an accidental overdose and the rate of these deaths has risen 522% since 2002. At this point I don’t know anyone that has not been affected by this personally.

“For Ole Miss freshmen: My son William’s story” By David Magee
“A new freshman class started at Ole Miss this week and I wish I could tell them all this story.
It’s about my oldest son, William, who was a freshman in 2008. He would gladly tell them himself, if only he were alive.”
https://www.oxfordeagle.com/2016/08/28/my-son-williams-story-shared-to-help-others/

I was honored and humbled that William’s family would let me interview David, William’s father, for my Podcast Grey Matters Now – let’s change the world one difficult conversation at a time please!

The hope and manifestation of positive change in just one year! Below – The William Magee Center For Wellness Education at Ole Miss.

The William Magee Center for Wellness Education is open to receive gifts from individuals and organizations by mailing a check with the center’s name in the memo line to the University of Mississippi Foundation, 406 University Ave., Oxford, MS 38655.

For information on the wellness center and how you can contribute:

https://www.oxfordeagle.com/2017/11/20/strong-response-propels-william-magee-center-wellness-education-ole-miss/#undefined.gbpl.gbpl

Resources and helpful articles:

More about Michael Julian and his very personal healing journey : https://www.ems1.com/mental-health/articles/202743048-How-I-found-a-way-out-and-back-to-what-I-love-as-a-paramedic/

Resources for anyone or someone you care about struggling with addiction:

https://www.aa.org/
https://al-anon.org/https://www.na.org/http://www.nar-anon.org/

Not just for the immediately suicidal, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Is a national network of local crisis centers that provide free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Have the latest massacres and disasters left you feeling stunned, fearful, angry, saddened, or polarized?

This free-flowing conversation with my friend, colleague and fellow Social worker Kenn just happened to be a month after The Pulse Night Club shooting and the day of the massacre in the South of France – Bastille Day.

Are you ready to explore the ever-changing tone of the world and the emotional climate change that comes with it?

After a tragedy, shock and horror start to manifest into fear. Navigating through everyday life changes as our perception and new emotions make moving forward in a healing direction challenging. Do you find it hard to figure out how to move from reaction to action and to not be consumed by negativity? Humanity, community, courage, good and beauty exist in a huge way. Oh my goodness – the world has been on quite the roller coaster since this podcast! Join us for a broad open discussion about moving through our world with an open heart and mind.